The Frustrations of a Student Veteran (at least this one)

Sometimes being a veteran (and a student veteran, at that) is really hard. I can’t obviously speak for everyone but sometimes it feels like you’re just stuck in this weird limbo land. Like you’re between the active duty life and the now civilian life you’re in. You feel a sense of freedom because (in my case) you’re no longer stuck on a boat standing 5 hour watches, being stuck on duty, or getting in trouble and having your liberty secured on deployment because one dumb ass decided it was a good idea to deface an E6’s rack in the middle of the night in your berthing. (That’s another story.)

It’s like you just don’t fit in. You look like most of the other people you’re surrounded by people that you resemble, you’re in normal clothes and no longer a uniform, have your nails done 💅🏼, maybe a little older than your peers if you’re a student, etc. But for the most part, you look like everyone else- but you don’t feel like everyone else. You still remember those years you spent active duty and you may even curse more frequently than most. I know I sure as fuck do, I pretty much always have even before the Navy. You stand up after sitting in a desk for an hour long lecture and your hip pops along with your knee.

I think I also didn’t expect to feel so reminded of the navy with so many little things nearly every day. My instructor can be talking about intercultural communications and how different cultural groups distinguish in-group/out-group members and treat them accordingly because in-group understand the different slang terms and abbreviations and all I can think is how no one understands the navy or military terms  in general except those who have been in. You don’t realize how when your instructor asks about work experiences and you remember that time you had to go aloft for the third time that day at 1600 on a Friday even though it can be done on a different day while the rest of the ship left around 1230 to enjoy their weekend but Chief is on duty and says you’re staying because he said so. But you still got paid the same as any other E5 with 4 years in the service, there is no overtime. That’s the type of shit you definitely don’t miss.

I simply miss sitting in my shop with my coworkers and making fun of Chief, honestly. He was a dick. Or laughing at morbid jokes while making another pot of double brewed coffee. Going to the Smith’s house to watch Game of Thrones and play board games and having a nice Sunday night dinner when most of us lived in the barracks. Going out to Country Night at Water Street. Holding the giant American Flag on the football field for the Eagles/Cowboys game on Veteran’s Day. Watching my friend reenlist at Ground Zero in New York City. I miss feeling like I belonged. Don’t get me wrong, I love college for the most part and have always loved learning but being surrounded by annoying af teenagers with obnoxious unnecessary commentary in class who can’t even walk on the right side of the stairs is beyond frustrating. I want to drop kick them.

And then dealing with the VA and trying to get paid on time is a whole other stress and mess of bullshit to deal with. It’s like you want to be grateful that you get your education paid for and also get a monthly stipend but it’s so frustrating when you feel like you did your part in volunteering 6 years and did your job and received an honorable discharge just to get offed over time and time again.

It’s like you miss the military just because it was the one place where you felt you belonged with other likeminded people but you don’t miss it enough to wish you had stayed in. I curse way too much for the civilian world and wearing a uniform with my hair in a bun everyday is perfect for me because I have no sense of style/fashion sense. (Literally when I was younger I used to beg my mom to send me to a boarding school so I could wear a uniform. Yeah, I’m a fucking weirdo.)

Then there’s just the fact that you feel so behind in life. I can’t help but feel like I have nothing to show for at 27. I’m sitting in college classes surrounded by 19 year olds while people I went to high school with have graduate degrees, careers, families, etc. and I feel like I’m starting from the bottom after a 6-year hiatus in the navy. By the time I’m done with college and hopefully in a career, I’ll be in my 30s. (Yes, I know other people go to college later in life, don’t come at me.) It’s just frustrating because sometimes I sit and wonder if I should have just stuck it out the first time instead of getting bored and joining the navy.

You just feel stuck in a lonely limbo land. You don’t want to keep talking about it and sounding annoying when everyone knows how much you wanted to get out but you can’t help but still feel connected to the military life even when you’re not. Sometimes it feels like everything somehow relates to some experience of being in the navy but not everyone else sees that connection.  I think because when you’re active duty you’re sort of just immersed into it as a lifestyle because it really does sort of take over every part of it that it’s kind of hard to find your place outside of it. If that makes any sense.

I know that it’s just a tough time in life and I know I’ll get through it and I’m honestly thankful for all of my veteran friends and those who are still active duty that understand. Sitting in the Veteran Resource Center at my school with everyone else talking about old sea stories and how the civilian kids are annoying is my newfound shop.

I’m sure I missed something or didn’t get across something I meant to convey but this is the best I got for now. Sorry that this is pretty much just a bunch of bitching and is probably very annoying but I’m hoping that if anyone else can relate that they just know they’re not alone in feeling alone. ❤️

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What to do…

So, clearly I’m really bad at this whole blogging thing. I just have no idea what to write because obviously a point of a blog, or at least one of the main ones, I think, is for other people to want to read it. Like am I supposed to just write about my day and how some dumb bitch cut me off on the freeway and I really had the split second thought about just  letting my Jeep destroy the back end of her Prius in hopes of teaching her dumb ass lesson and finally taking one of those ugly things off the road? Or should I try for something more profound and meaningful?

But who am I kidding lol I don’t do anything profound, I go to school and hate all the dipshit kids in my class and watch Real Housewives like it’s going out of style. 😂

Stuck In An Elevator

As I’m sure you can tell by the title, my little clip, and if you follow me on my Instagram @britneydomine, you’ll realized that it was stuck in an elevator for over 45 minutes yesterday. 45 FUCKING MINUTES.

Now… that’s not as long as some people. As soon as I posted about it and was out, one of my friends told me she was stuck in one last week for 5 hours. 😳 Fuck all of that. Now that would have driven me nuts and I would have put all my knowledge of Die Hard and Lethal Weapon films to use and tried to bust out of that bitch. John McClane and Martin Riggs are some crafty mother fuckers.

And now I wanna watch Die Hard.

Anyhow… so yesterday (August 3rd in year 2018) I was delivering some groceries through Postmates, which I just started about 3 days ago. It’s pretty easy and it’s like Lyft/Uber but picking up food/grocery orders and delivering them without dealing with strangers in your car. And you get paid for it, obviously. And a bitch loves Sephora and gym clothes soooo extra dollas is where it’s at 💁🏻‍♀️ 💰.

I went to Sprouts, gathered the groceries and then drove to the address in downtown San Diego to an apartment complex. It was super nice, had a nice open lobby with a concierge and I told him I had a delivery for a Lauryn but no specific unit. He led me to the elevator and pressed the button and said it would go to the 4th floor and leave the groceries there and then press G to go back to the ground floor. Alright, simple enough.

Fuck. Now I’m stuck.

So I got to the floor, doors opened and I stepped out, left the bags, and got back in the elevator. I pressed G and it lit up but nothing happened. I pressed it couple of more time and still nothing, then I tried the open door button and even that didn’t work. What. The. Fuck. Nothing is moving and no doors are opening. 😑 Motherfucker.

I tried pressing the button probably 20 times and sill nothing happened so I finally press the call button because there’s nothing else. I was hoping this called the concierge desk and he probably just needed to hit a button on the bottom floor but nope. This called an emergency dispatch. A woman answered and I told her everything and she said she would call the concierge first and then the tech and if he couldn’t do anything and told me just to sit tight and that I was safe and all that Jazz. I still didn’t believe I was stuck, so I just stood there a few more minutes and then realized this bitch wasn’t moving.

There must be a wall on the other side of the elevator because a woman called out to me after I yelled “come on, mother fucker!” and hit the bell button which rang loud af. She asked if I was stuck and I told her yes and that I had already called and she told me she would call the desk to see how it was all going. She was so sweet. I told her I was fine and not worried about it but that my car was still downstairs running on the street as I had only been dropping off an order. She said she would either ask her son to move it for me after calling the desk. When she called the concierge asking for an update she told him about my car and he went to turn it off and brought the keys inside with him. A real MVP and a lifesaver. That was literally the only thing that really worried me lol my black Jeep Wrangler Unlimited just sitting there on the street in downtown San Diego with the engine running and some asshole walking by and just being like “hey, I’ll just take this”. Other than that, I just sat there by myself saving dramatic snaps on my phone hoping it wouldn’t die before I got out and playing some Sudoku.

I tried to pry open the doors but I’m only half strong and could only get it about half inch and had nothing to use for leverage. So I sat there. For around 45 minutes. Just thinking to myself “why me? What are the fucking odds??”

“Fuck. Well, at least there’s still air coming in so it’s not hot and I probably won’t suffocate.”

“I wish I had some snacks. And more battery life.”

“It’s cool. I’ve been on deployment and stuck on giant tin can for 72 days straight. Okay.”

“How does the most random shit happen to me? Like am I really stuck in a fucking elevator?? This actually happens to people?! Ugh.”

“This just reminds me off all the random shit that happens to me… Like that time I ended up in foster care for two weeks. And when I won three jackpots at the casino in 2010. Or when my car ran out of gas and I had to push it across the street. Well, that was my own fault.”

“What would John McClane do?”

“Shit. I have to pee soon…”

“Kevin probably thinks I’m dead.”

“How long is this shit gonna take?”

“Wow. I can hear elevators next to me working just fine but not mine. This game is horse shit.”

“Oh fuck, are those sirens?! This is some serious shit if that’s the case.”

Then I hear people in the hall or elevator next to me, I don’t know, talking about needed to get to me because I’m on the fourth floor and my platform is halfway between some shit. I don’t know. I kicked back and just waited. When they finally got the doors pried open, I was sitting there with my head in my hands and was like “oh, hey”. Apparently the entry way doors were stuck open and that’s why it never moved. Go figure.

Free at last!

The technician and concierge let me out and he handed me my keys and apologized and we both laughed about how I should’ve just left the groceries in the lobby with him.

We walked through the small apartment entry way to a side door on the left for the service elevator. Then comes the plot twist… at least for me.

While the MVP concierge is holding the door for my knight in shining overalls technician, I see a directors chair with a logo on the back that says “The Skinny Confidential” with a logo that I recognize. And I say, “The Skinny Confidential… I recognize that name. I listen to a podcast with the same name.” and homeboy nods his head and then it hits me and I put two and two together. Lauryn, whom I delivered to is Lauryn Evarts Bosstick FROM THE FUCKING PODCAST. 😳 Holy fuck. And I like lost my shit.

Plot twist

“Hang on a minute. So you mean to tell me that I just delivered groceries to Lauryn from The Skinny Confidential and then I got fucking stuck in her elevator right outside her apartment? Fuckin seriously?? Holy shit.”

He laughed a little and said “Yeah, that’s her. She’s very nice.”

We got in the elevator and I said if this shit stops I’m gonna lose it.

Mind. Blown. 🤯

Wrapping it up

I finally made it out and made it to my car and plugged in my phone and let Kevin know I wasn’t kidnapped by gangsters and uploaded my saga since I had no service in my humble abode. I tagged @theskinnyconfidential in my post because it was just so funny to me and I still couldn’t believe this ridiculous shit happened to me and I had to share. Lauryn actually ended up responding to me and even reposting part of my IG story on hers and even offered her condolences. What a sweetheart! She’s even sending me a goodie bag even though I told her she didn’t need to but she insisted. I’m totally looking forward to it because it could be a Pez dispenser and I would appreciate it!

Definitely a great ending to such a bad stroke of luck. We’ve come full circle.

If you wanna check out the Captain’s Log, it is on my Instagram story in the highlights. 👉🏼Britney Domine.

Hasta.

The Journey Begins

What’s up mothafuckas!

1 down, however many to go.

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This image was already and I don’t know how to set all this shit up so… it’s staying. I haven’t fucked with HTML since my old MySpace days and that was A WHILE ago.

So. I’ve been asked/told to do a blog or a podcast of some sort because I am “so funny” and “hilarious” (their words, so I’m not just boosting my own ego).

I did a poll on IG and asked if anyone would actually read and it surprised me so much that a little over 50 people (FIDDY!) actually said they would. 😳 Well fuck, if that’s not some support, I dk what is. I expected like 4, and at least one of those votes being my Mom. (And this the 8 that said “I think the fuck not”, step on a LEGO.)

Anywho… I don’t really know what to put here because I’ve never had a blog in my life and only ever written papers for school and lifeless discussion board responses that make me want to jump off the Coronado bridge.

I think I’ll just keep it to random shit that pisses me off during the day because that’s usually what my rants on my Instagram story about and I feel that’s how we got to this point. I’m a very easily annoyed and angry little person haha I always have been and cursing up a storm on my story about how I want to drop kick the mother fucker who’s sitting in the middle of the parking lot waiting on a spot instead of moving to an open one helps me get out my anger. And apparently it’s funny to all (some) of you 🤗. Maybe I’ll take requests lol we’ll figure it out.

I’ll try to keep my writing to the way that I speak so that as you’re reading you can imagine it in my annoying ass little voice and hopefully it’s just as funny. If not, well, then I dk what the fuck to tell you. 🤷🏻‍♀️